Matt Says Hello

Hello there friends! This is Matt, saying a bit about myself so you can all get to know me better and what I complain about. Nick wrote a wonderful introduction for me, but I just wanted to share a few more of my obsessions. quirks, and annoying habits.

Let's start off by talking about the elephant in the room- Titanic. Yes, I should have went to Titanic school, or at least should have founded a Titanic school. Since the young age of 7 that sunken ship has been my live. So get ready for me to use examples of modern day annoyances and how I'm annoyed people let the sinking happen. Fuck icebergs.

I'm also rather passive-aggressive. Now, that isn't my best quality but who the fuck cares. That's how I am and how I handle situations with the people I know. Rather than deal with not being hungry I'd prefer to make an epic production where I complain about my stomach hurting and an empty wallet and how someone isn't paying me any attention. On that note I was in theater in high school and some of college. Whatever. You'll notice that I will eventually complain about myself, so don't think I just a nasty person to everybody....I'm a nasty person to myself too.

People are annoying. Yes, so are you (and I.)

My home state is Massachusetts which I believe is the most liberal state in the union, so you probably can assume what my views are on a lot of things, also being gay. However I'll do my best to present both sides of anything political, religious or controversial when I complain about them. Trust me. Do it, you won't.

Humor isn't really what I'm all about, but every once in a while I have pretty big moments where I am funny, causing the people around me to laugh for a few minutes. I take pride in those moments, so I am looking forward to accidental having a few in the blog.

Back when Myspace was all the rage (OK, like, two years ago, before I deleted it) I was known for my blogs. They included fun music lyrics that related to the subject, and quotes from some of my friends because it was Myspace and to get views on your profile you either had to make your friends happy or put up shirtless pics. Well, it was easier to type a few words than to go to the gym, so to answer my narcissistic side I blogged.

Speaking of narcissistic, I'm gay and whoever I want I usually get.

Now that's the note I want to end this on! Stay tuned for my first real blog about black guys who are 6'5" tall and can't fit on spiral stairs. Won't wanna miss that shit, now would you?

Welcome to the SBP Handbook!

Here at Slapping Bitches Productions (Yes, we really are Slapping Bitches Productions), we want to change the world.  But since we're in a Recession, we settled for a blog.

This blog is basically a handbook to life according to SBP. Since I keep throwing the name around, I should explain who we are. My Name is Nick, and along with my two best friends Ayesha and Matt, would like to help you gain the strength to slap that bitch we all know and most times hate... life.

We are all film school graduates who probably should have done something else with our lives. Ayesha is the most fashionable person ever, I'm a writer and Matt... well he loves the Titanic. See! We should have gone to Fashion/Writing/Titanic School instead. 

We're very diverse so we'll write about everything. When I say everything, chances are I mean EVERYTHING! (Matt LOVES the Titanic) Everything from reality television to that annoying bitch that we all have to deal with because he's best friend's with one of your friends so you have to be polite (I fucking hate that guy! Let's kill him).

Music, Movies, Television, Video Games, Books, Fashion, and Gadgets will all be the norm but expect random musings about all the crazy, annoying B.S. that happens in life. That's always fun. It will all be here at some point, so you're bound to find something just for you (Did I mention that Titanic shit will be on this? Fucking Matt). Oh, and I love cursing...

I should warn you, we hate ugly things. Ugly clothes, ugly people, ugly babies... we hate them all. So I guarantee you that there will be special posts about just that. And of course, as you can tell by the name, we will be slapping bitches over here. So if you don't enjoy other people bitching about stuff that you're too scared and repressed to bitch about, then you should get off the Internet. That's all it really is. Go outside; enjoy the sunshine and global warming. But if you LOVE people bitching about any and everything, then welcome home!