Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Stop Assuming I Like Madea You Racist!

I was totally pumped when I read about TBS canceling Tyler Perry's House of Payne. That show was on for 127 episodes too long. Too bad in the same breath they're letting him have another show, based off yet another group of his characters. "For Better or Worse" is based off his movie "Why Did I Get Married?" and while those movies had no trace of Madea (I was DEVASTATED!) I highly doubt he'll miss a perfect opportunity to remind everyone it's his property by putting himself in it. It's not like we don't know when it's his movie. He put's "Tyler Perry's" in front of everything he does, as if anyone else would produce those stinking piles of shit he creates in his Bible thumping, agenda powered Jesus factory. You're not fucking Shakespeare! Just because you put your name in front of it doesn't make your stuff classics!

If you couldn't tell, I'm might not be the biggest fan of Tyler Perry.

I'm so fucking sick of dumbass ignorant bitches asking me if I fucking love those Tyler Perry movies! No. I have a brain. I refuse to sit through yet another all black film that only retools the same five story lines while getting cheap laughs from stereotypes and expecting to be taken serious by the general public. You're not producing art while running around in drag, acting like a belligerent negro and simply getting laughs from making white people believe this is the way we do and should act. You look like you're in scenes cut from the movie Norbit.

To be fair, I admire him as a business man. He created an entire empire off his plays and continues to make movies and television that gives him so much exposure. I just wish he could do that without sending black people back 50 years.

I could really get behind him if he stopped doing the same tired storyline. Black woman is wronged by her man. Black woman angry. Black woman SMASH! Oh. I'm sorry. It's Madea who comes in and wrecks everything. But it's ok. The Black woman goes to church, finds herself a man, forgives the man that wronged her and lives happily ever after because she found Jesus again... or for the first time. All that matters is Jesus happens!

And people love to talk about Tyler Perry when they hear I want to make movies. Of course I should want to be Tyler Perry. Look at him running down the street wearing sandbags on his chest. Totally something to aspire to be! And don't get me started on thinking outside the box and being creative!

I mean, he had an amazing opportunity to shut critics (and myself) up with "For Colored Girls." Critically acclaimed play NOT written by him that he was translating to film. He even had an amazing cast of actresses for the lead! And what did he do? Fuck it ALL up by infusing Jesus overtones that didn't need to be there.

It's not all about you Tyler. Seriously. Let it go!

And he loves to call out Hollywood for being racist towards him. Let me let you in on a little secret Tyler. Hollywood doesn't hate your movies because they're racist. They hate them because they're shit. If anything, you're racist! You want to give black actors center stage because, I agree, there are not enough good African American vehicles out there. Emphasis on GOOD. Why don't you try it sometime? Putting a whole bunch of black people in a movie isn't doing any of us a favor when all they do is demean us. But you're supposed to be praised because you put us all in your flicks. I'm sorry. If it was a white director, you'd be all up in arms about it. Any other ethnicity couldn't put out the films you do without being considered insensitive, yet you're getting away with the murder of our culture. I can't believe you got second place at the box office this weekend. $25 million? Really? And you can't afford lessons on how to put out a quality film?

And if you want to call out my boy Spike Lee one more time for holding you back, Imma have to find you myself! Spike Lee and John Singleton... now those are black filmmakers I aspire to be. And it's not like they don't have strong voices about the black community, which often exposes stuff we wouldn't like to share with other. But they have artistic integrity. I know you don't know what that mean Tyler. You are in fact making yet ANOTHER Madea movie!

Or Shonda Rhimes! Creator of Grey's Anatomy, Private Private Practice and producer for a multitude of shows. She's amazing and gets no credit. She writes all her characters without any ethnicity and let the best actor get the parts. That's a novel idea! Instead of resting on the schtick of having an all black cast just so that you know we'll all come flock to your movie, why not just write a movie and let the best actors get the rolls. How about resting on your "talent" for a change? I dare you.

Honestly, I've seen "Diary of a Mad Black Woman." It's actually a good movie. Too bad he's redone it seven times already. I will not deny that his stuff is probably really funny and enjoyable. I would probably like his movies like everyone else does. But I can't promote the idea that black cinema can be boiled down to finding Jesus and jokes based purely on stereotypes.

A good friend of mine always asks me when we're going to have a African American movie classic. Where's our "Godfather"? Where's our "Sunset Boulevard"? Where's our "Casablanca"? I feel like some of my greats can't do it, I have to work really hard to make it happen myself. All I know is that the most successful black director/producer and Forbes "6th Highest Paid Man in Hollywood" can't do it. He's too busy driving cars into fast food joints dressed as an old lady. Anyone else see a problem with that?

I mean, how obnoxious are the ads for his latest movie?

I see this shit everywhere in LA! And the eyes...

...They follow you.

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