Are you in close proximity to Matt?

Then you should slap him. A few days ago I said something to him and he inferred that I was working in pornos. Does he not know me? Would I EVER be in a porno? HELL MUTHAFUCKING NO! It's been in the back of my mind since he said that to me. So please slap the shit outta him, if only so that he can regain his common sense.

There's an App for that!

Or at least I WISH there was an app for that. This is an awesome parody of the iPhone commercials. Of course there's a million of them out there, but I just love how wrong this is. I post this in honor of Matt: I hope your iPhone comes back to life. I know this is a very trying time for you so I hope this puts a smile on your face... until you realize that your phone is still going to die...

More Videos at IGN.com

Seeing Sounds... It Bitch Slaps Shitty "Hot N Cold" Covers

So Matt recently posted something about the song "Hot N Cold" which is a song that I absolutely love. The cover on the other hand was a piece of shit that I wanted to smear all over his fucking face. That being said, it's time to bitch slap Matt's post with music that fucks up bitches. Yes, I am indeed calling out Matt's wack ass post in front of everyone! We're very mature over here at SBP...

So everyone needs to check out "Seeing Sounds" from the group N.E.R.D. I fucking love these guys! Be warned, they really aren't for everyone, as the album is a mix-match of different styles and influences. But I can let you know, if you're a lover of lots of different types of music, you'll find the album to be a welcome inclusion into your music library. If you're the type of person who only likes one type of music, there's bound to be a song just for you!

The album has songs that you've bound to hear somewhere: from clubs to commercials. The lead songs off the album include "Everyone Nose (All the Girls Standing in the Line for the Bathroom)", "Spaz", and "Sooner or Later." But it also has a lot of little gems such as "Kill Joy", "Love Bomb" and my personal favorite "Anti Matter."

As for "Anti Matter," we have fond memories over here at SBP. When at school, I would pick up Ayesha before class and we would often blast it in my car, getting hyped up to fuck up bitches in class. Ayesha and I are G's if you didn't know. Listening to the song just makes you want to throw up gang signs, act reckless and belligerent, and pray that some poor soul crosses you so that you can stomp the shit outta them. Sometimes we just want to crush people's sense of self worth and what's better than doing that? Doing it with an awesome soundtrack! Oh, it really is a piece of art...

It's the perfect song to drive slowly in front of an elementary school, blasting it and hoping to scar little children for life. Did you know I'm a great babysitter? 

So yeah... Seeing Sounds. It's music to fuck up bitches to. No questions. Just blast it and slap bitches (because that's really what life is all about right?)

Matt Says Hello

Hello there friends! This is Matt, saying a bit about myself so you can all get to know me better and what I complain about. Nick wrote a wonderful introduction for me, but I just wanted to share a few more of my obsessions. quirks, and annoying habits.

Let's start off by talking about the elephant in the room- Titanic. Yes, I should have went to Titanic school, or at least should have founded a Titanic school. Since the young age of 7 that sunken ship has been my live. So get ready for me to use examples of modern day annoyances and how I'm annoyed people let the sinking happen. Fuck icebergs.

I'm also rather passive-aggressive. Now, that isn't my best quality but who the fuck cares. That's how I am and how I handle situations with the people I know. Rather than deal with not being hungry I'd prefer to make an epic production where I complain about my stomach hurting and an empty wallet and how someone isn't paying me any attention. On that note I was in theater in high school and some of college. Whatever. You'll notice that I will eventually complain about myself, so don't think I just a nasty person to everybody....I'm a nasty person to myself too.

People are annoying. Yes, so are you (and I.)

My home state is Massachusetts which I believe is the most liberal state in the union, so you probably can assume what my views are on a lot of things, also being gay. However I'll do my best to present both sides of anything political, religious or controversial when I complain about them. Trust me. Do it, you won't.

Humor isn't really what I'm all about, but every once in a while I have pretty big moments where I am funny, causing the people around me to laugh for a few minutes. I take pride in those moments, so I am looking forward to accidental having a few in the blog.

Back when Myspace was all the rage (OK, like, two years ago, before I deleted it) I was known for my blogs. They included fun music lyrics that related to the subject, and quotes from some of my friends because it was Myspace and to get views on your profile you either had to make your friends happy or put up shirtless pics. Well, it was easier to type a few words than to go to the gym, so to answer my narcissistic side I blogged.

Speaking of narcissistic, I'm gay and whoever I want I usually get.

Now that's the note I want to end this on! Stay tuned for my first real blog about black guys who are 6'5" tall and can't fit on spiral stairs. Won't wanna miss that shit, now would you?