Monday, September 14, 2009

You're not Diddy!

So I was going to the grocery store to pick up something for my mother when I had this unexpected encounter with this a self-indulged, celebrity wannabe. While I love fashion, I try not to live my life by it's rules. Like wearing white pants after Labor Day... No big deal (although I really don't know a reason to wear white pants ever).

Anyway, as I was walking into the store, this asshole decided to go out of his way to almost knock me over to get in. When the sound of shock came from my mouth, he turned and sized me up. He gave a self satisfied laugh while looking at my attire, turned and went into the store.

Who the fuck does that guy think he is? I certainly don't walk out of my house looking like a bum. In fact, I was looking particularly fresh to death today. He on the other hand, was looking like a Diddy wannabe: his obviously fake oversized Dior (or Bior) sunglasses, white shirt showing nasty chest hair overgrowth and his white cabana pants...


I don't know who you think you are with your unjustified disgust in me but you're lucky we were in a public place. Otherwise I would have cut a bitch. I guess I would have to wait on karma to get him. Luckily I didn't have to wait too long.

As I was leaving I saw the cashier yell out that someone forgot their card. As the bag boy ran outside to catch the guy, I got a glimpse of the card... a food stamps card.

As I made my way outside, I saw the bag boy next to a beat up hoopty which had the "celebrity" inside. Next time you think about buying some bobo sunglasses, you should buy yourself dinner off the dollar menu bitch!

-SBP Mobile: Slapping Bitches on the Go

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