Wednesday, May 27, 2009

The Gay Apocalypse is upon Us!

Ok. So yesterday was the worst day ever to be a gay man.

The announcement of the Supreme Court's ruling on Prop 8 was met with both cheers and tears. All the same sex couples that got hitched before the passing of Prop 8 are relieved to hear that their marriages are indeed legal, but they still upheld Prop 8. Now that's some bullshit.

If things couldn't get any worse, they announced that Buffy the Vampire Slayer is finally going to become a movie. Sounds like a good thing right? WRONG! Joss Whedon, the mastermind behind the cult television show and critically acclaimed comic series has nothing to do with it. In fact, none of the original cast are even being considered for it. The bitches who made the original piece of shit movie are the ones with the rights. They plan on trying to reboot the franchise in Star Trek fashion. And they are not going off of the TV series (you know, the whole reason people liked Buffy in the first place!), which means that leaves no room for series favorites like Willow, Xander, Spike, Angel, Faith, Giles and Dawn. And what about Buffy herself? They say she might not even be in it! They might go with a new slayer and friends! WTF is that! They want to do a "darker, grittier Buffy reboot." Buffy doesn't need a fucking reboot! The show only ended a few years ago! Season 8 (the comic for those of you who don't have gay friends who go buy it on new comic day) is a HUGE success! Do yourself a favor, call up Whedon so he can just bring everyone back and do this shit right!

You know who I blame this on? Fucking Twilight! Yeah, you knew this was coming. Everyone's vampire crazy now, so why not bring back the biggest name in vampires since Dracula? Fucking Twilight! You're inadvertently raping everything the made growing up good for me! Don't take away my one sacred thing! This is taking a big shit all over Buffy. Just do a movie continuing the series! No one wants to see some stupid Buffy the Vampire movie without Whedon or the cast. Oops I'm sorry! Buffy might not even be in it! I should have said "____ the Vampire Slayer!" AHHHH GAY TANTRUM!

As me and Matt sharpen our stakes and prepare the Scoobies to fuck up some bitches,  I wanted to leave you with this awesome trailer for a documentary called "Outrage." Hey all you anti-gay marriage people! You should check those conservative Republicans that you follow so blindly. Next time you talk to them, check to see if their breath smells like dick. Chances are it does!

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