So my life revolves around the gym now, and I find that that's where all my awkward moments happen. No matter how much I keep to myself or how focused I am on the workout, I'm always stuck in a "hide my face" moment. I've been behind with writing about stuff so I figured I'd catch you up:
I was on the bike, cycling away, when I saw this old lady come by my bike and she looked like she was ready to go. She was about to attack the bike next to me. Like hardcore. Halfway into my workout, I look over to see that while she was speeding away on the bike, that she had forgotten to choose any program on the bike. So technically it wasn't even on. Thirty minutes of her pedaling away and she didn't even break a sweat. She left complaining that she didn't get anything out of the workout...
The trainers have noticed I'm the guy who's REALLY into his music. I'm constantly mouthing the words to the songs I'm listening to as I work out. When I cool down, you can find me sorta dancing to the music. I thought that was normal; apparently it isn't. They all walked by once, bobbing their heads with me and smiling. Then I realized that I had become something of an attraction at the gym. One of the guy trainers, who I never noticed before, walked by me twice smiling. He was SO HOT! Then I realized that someone in my sweatpants had noticed that fact as well...
Today was a special day though. It was like a two for one embarrassing day:
I ended up working out next to my secret gym crush. He's the towering, hot silent type. We were on the elliptical machines, just going at it, when I noticed that his very defined arms where sweaty... no... glistening. Then there was about five minutes that I can't account for. All I can remember is that I was fucking him with my eyes, my mouth was dropped, and I'm pretty sure I started to drool...
I was adjusting a seat on the one of the weight machines, when a very hot guy I never saw before started to walk by. I went to sit on the seat and well... You know the Tower of Terror at Disney? My reaction would have been more appropriate on that ride. I fell down to the bottom rung on the seat with a loud crash that everyone in the gym heard. Oh, and I yelled like a little bitch. The hot guy gave the cutest smile as he walked by and even talked to me a little as he was coming back from the water fountain. That made my day. I'm just glad I didn't scream like a little girl like I always do...
I lied. Three for one. I was walking into the locker room to use the restroom before I left and I almost ran into a naked old man. I turned the corner and within a split second I jumped out of the way of his extremely saggy front side. With my hands in the air, I yelled "DONE" and ran out...
Can't wait to see what the gym has in store for me tomorrow!
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