Monday, June 22, 2009

PSA People (parental discretion advised)


Believe it or not contraception is your best friend. Now there are a few: some long term, some short term, some for men and some for women. Now wasn’t that so nice of contraception to be available for everyone? So I ask you reader where is your contraception? I know where my mine is. It’s like my visa never leave home without it. If we must, we can take an intermission ladies. If you forgot your contraception, lets pop that little friendly pill while I address the guys.

Now guys I understand it may feel better without your contraception. But what won’t feel or look good is when your penis is constantly on fire and your scrotum (that word makes me chuckle) has warts on them the size of an orange. There is probably more STD’s than girls you would ever sleep with, so why chance it?

Now this one is a toss up, cause it’s equally scary for both men and women. It’s called HIV/AIDS. Yeah the shit that fucks up your immune system and eventually kills you (unless you're Magic Johnson). Not something you should want to chance. So here’s contraception to the rescue to lessen your chances and you turn your back on it. That’s just wrong. And contraception came to me, holding back tears… Contraception just wanted me to tell you that you’re a dumb ass.

Seriously I know I don’t want any kids anytime soon. I sure as hell don’t want any STD’s, HIV/ AIDS… nope none of that sounds too delightful to me. So if you're on the same page then contraception will be your BFF. No slaps today cause I want to make sure you're in the right state of mind when you go: buy that pack of condoms, go get your prescription for birth control, go get your shot or even a vasectomy (guys), tube tied for the ladies. Along with this PSA, going to get tested is also a smart idea. I’m outta here for now, but be safe or I will slap you.

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