Thursday, March 19, 2009

Little Old Ladies and Drive-Bys at Publix

So I'm not quite sure what just happened. I don't think I did anything, but I think that's part of the problem...

So I'm at the checkout at the supermarket and I'm having a nice conversation with the little old lady at the register. When I'm about to leave, the other little old lady bagging my groceries decides she wants to turn my cart around. I'm thinking she's just helping me get behind it, but then I realize she's pushing it out for me. I'm trying to tell her I can take it, but she just smiles at me and continues to push in front of me.

Ok. So there really shouldn't be a problem with a bagger pushing someone's cart out of for them. They do it all the time. I'm 20 years old, standing at about 5'10 while this lady who looks like she can be my grandmother stands at a whopping 4 foot nothing. I should be able to take my own cart out seeing as I can probably lift three of her over my head. What happens next just felt fucking awkward.

We walk outside of Publix. It's more like I'm chasing after her, because she's moving like the wind and apparently knows how to find my car faster than I do. As I look around I realize, everyone and their mother is walking in and out of Publix. And they're all staring at us.

I was stuck in a slow motion movie moment. We were outside for at most two minutes, but it felt like an hour. I actually saw people pointing at us and talking among themselves. Cars slowed down as they drove by us, which were in desperate need for tinted windows, because I could see the disgust on their faces as clear as day. If I saw someone who looked like a NFL linebacker making some poor old lady push his cart and unpack his groceries, I'd talk shit too.

So I rushed to the trunk of my car and helped pack things in as quickly as I could. I needed to get the fuck out of there. We were finished and I was stuck in yet another awkward moment. I had never had someone push my cart out for me seeing as I'm fully capable to do it myself. Was I supposed to tip her? Fuck. Even if I was supposed to, she didn't give me the chance. She took the cart back as quickly as she had taken it out, smiling as she said goodbye.

I saw people shaking their heads at me. And to add insult to injury, not only did I take advantage of an old lady by being lazy as fuck and making her do manual labor, I didn't even give her anything for it. I was the biggest tool in the parking lot, and the look on everyone's faces let me know that.

Mother Fucker! I should have tipped her.

And people have let me know that tipping is strictly prohibited by Publix. Good to know but I don't give a fuck! That lady deserved a dollar.

1 comment:

  1. I probably would have done the same thing, but i wouldn't have felt that bad about it. That is why you are a better person than me. :)