I've been going to the gym a lot lately, and I'm very unhappy about the constant penis sightings every time I go to the locker room. I'm just trying to go to the rest room and I'm constantly being bombarded with penises from all sides. You would think that this would be a good thing for me, right?
It's never like those wonderful gay locker room fantasies. Every once and a while you get that sexy ass bitch that gives you the motivation to work your ass off if only for a glimpse. What people don't tell you about the male gym experience is that to get to that random good/great sighting, you have to deal with 1000 sightings that make you want to rip your eyes out.
Old men and vomit inducing excuses for men walking around naked just hanging out like it's nothing. And I've had every scenario: nasty mothafuckas reaching/jumping to grab a towel, bodies that should be covered all the time bending over, old men standing around naked in groups talking about sports. And don't EVER try and tie your shoes! You'll have swinging pendulums trying to attack your face (and not in the good way). I swear someone intentionally tired to bitch slap me with his wang...
And the good sightings really don't end up going well either. What do you mean I'm not allowed to look at your sexy body? If you don't want me to stare, then keep it to yourself you tease! Don't talk to me when I'm taking a piss! I don't want to have a conversation when I'm holding myself unless it ends with it in your mouth!
I just don't want to deal with all that. People are either trying to tempt me or make me throw up on them. I'm not interested in your package unless it's being delivered to my fun zone! If you keep playing games, I'm going to make sure I cum out the winner!